New Found Spirit

Hello All!

I was told the other day that I have a few followers from my past.

Hello! We think of you often! Thank you for finding me! ...and to a little missy we know in Bulldawg country, "GET ON THAT PUMP!!! It's incredibly awesome! I can't begin to tell you the benefits! I know. I know. I know! but think about it. Okay? Okay."

Well, we've had a lot going on.

We moved to our new city at the end of February. We love it here! We love our house. We love our schools. Lance loves his job here and I found a great job within 2 weeks time! I work with amazing people! I can't believe that so many kind decent people are available to me every day. God truly has blessed each of us.

The girls are with their other half for Spring break. I talk to them &/or chat online with them every day. They seem happy and well and of course full of spirit.

I've missed blogging. I'm happy to be here. I'll visit as often as I can.

God Bless and know we think of all of you.

Becc

White Hair Panick

OH MY LIVING LORD!!!!!

As all of you may or may not know, I let go of the blonde and went dark. Right?

Wrong!!!!!!!

I am seeing 1-2 inches of growth that are white!!!!

Bull honky Baby!!!

Wrinkles. My age. My little flubber belly. DO NOT bother me.

This does!!!!!

Adventure

Hello America!

Just kidding! I've been away so long. I feel like I've returned from a long trip.

We have entered The Tiger into our Mac and I feel like a new blogger! I love it!!

It has been busy here! I now work two jobs that I absolutely love, the girls are doing great, we sold our house, and we're moving to a new city to be a family again! Woo Hoo!!

I stand by my moto that Life Is Great! Full of stumbles but GREAT!

Hope all is well with all of you!

Becc

Keeping The Faith

Sundays's Quote, before I head off to work:

"True love doesn't just fill your heart, it overflows into your whole body and soul."

Volcanic Eruption

The calm. The calm before the storm.

The stream and molten rock slowly begin to rise.

A small eruption occurs.

The smoldering gases cannot withstand the pressure any longer and the volcano erupts with a violent force.

God grant me the strength I must have and protect my children from the wrath that is bound to bestow them.

I have held them for as long as I can, to make them feel safe. Now I must shield them with my entire being!

Looking Toward Our Future

Our goal for 2008 is to become Debt Free (other than our primary home).

I am SO looking forward to this day, when Lance and I can scream "We are debt free!!!!"

What an amazing feeling that will be!

We are taking Baby Steps and we are on our first, but this is so soothing. To know we are on our way... Wow!

Pray for us and wish us luck!

Faith

"ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN?"

That was THE question a stranger walked up and asked me at work last night.

I'm proud to say that I could feel my shoulders go back and my response:

"YES I AM."

"I thought so. I could tell."

...and he casually walked away.

Sunday Morning - Kindness

I have learned that some people just ARE NOT good. Most of these individuals seem to enjoy misery and want you to drowned in it with them.

There are others that radiate goodness. Just by their smile and the light in their eyes. These are the people that make me feel warm and comfortable.

When I must stand and listen ALL DAY LONG to the negativity of the "not so good people" as I work, it makes me feel nerved up, anxious, like I just want to run! Run outside into the sun and fresh air! I know this is what causes my tension, my need for release, my need to be out of that environment.

***Oh My Goodness!!!!****
While I was writing this on paper (Yes. This is one thing I did at work yesterday morning because we were SOOOO busy) a customer went out, down to McDonald's, bought me a hot cappuccino, and brought it back to me. Hot! OMG! Just because I seemed like a "nice" person!

Random acts of kindness girls! Random acts of kindness!

I discovered in my writing that this negative person was pulling me down to her level. As much as I thought it wasn't happening... It was!

Thank you Sir. Thank you for making me stop in my tracks and see kindness, as I watch the negative walk away.

Hey! Maybe this red hair IS working for me! (wink)

Footloose And Fancy-free

Hey Girls!

I'm back! and I'm feeling fine! (There's two more for ya Liv!)

I love it when I have a day filled with accomplishment, but especially when it is unplanned!

When I open up my checking account online to discover there is money in there!

I pay our bills and still have a little money left and know more is coming. Not a lot, but enough.

When I get court paperwork ready, praying God will help us, and that family that also must GO. No pay. No stay. Sorry. Don't get me wrong now. I wish I could afford to offer her a free place to stay, but unfortunately my checkbook doesn't reflect that.

I love it when I read your blogs and you just make me FEEL GOOD! OH, I feel so good! Uh! (I think that was a cheer from high school. :-)

Oh! And I forgot to mention that I am now a dark redhead! No. I am not joking. This blonde is now deep dark brownish red!

Do I like it? hmmmm...... I'll let ya know.

Okay Gals! Keep writing, keep reading, please comment, and as Jenn and Tabba have both reflected: Let's make this world a better place!

Smiles...

Drifting

It has been so long since I have checked my blog that the web page didn't even come up when I started to type it in.

Life has been fuller than usual lately.

Christmas was absolutely wonderful. We spent it at my parents' home. It was the first time I had been home for Christmas since I was 19 years old and the first time they have had children in the house on Christmas morning in years! It was so much fun!!

My cell phone has been in pieces for quite some time now, which seems to cut my communication with friends a bit. Family continued to call. (They always do.) Christmas cards were light this year (most came from Lance's family), but that's okay. We sent out 9 opposed to our usual 90 this year. I did send our Christmas letter via email for those that I had, but response to those were light as well. It tells me that we are all a bit too busy or maybe that life tends to drift us back and forth to one another over time, like a tide to the shore. I still think of my friends and distant family often and hope they are well.

Times are tough right now. I have faith and know that they will get better. One house will sell, one renter hopefully will pay rent, another will financially disappear, that kind old man at the mall will find a friend, and our girls will return safely.

Hope remains. It always does.

At A Lose

I've been reading some of your blogs today and I agree. Things are So busy right now and my mind has silenced itself a bit.

Lance is still gone. My longing for him is almost overwhelming. I work (I cannot stand on my feet at the end of the day), bank, take care of the house, the dog, the cat, the kids, but it's all done with a sense of robotics. Even eating is difficult unless it is lunch break at work.

You would have to read some of my earlier posts to understand the depth of lose that I have lived through. Lance has completely and fully helped to heal the open wounds and fill my heart. Without him, my mind and body have difficulty... no my entire being wants to shut down. (I sob every time we hang up the phone.)

His absence has given me some time to reflect a bit though on many that I miss and feel I have lost touch with somewhat.

Jenn- I am So thankful God has come to you (Or that you were able to finally let him in) and that your Kingdom is good for you right now. I pray it never ends and this truly is your fairy tale. You deserve it. You certainly have been there for me and I will always love you.

MF- Are you okay? Our text messages have become fewer and fewer. I know this time of year sucks for you and I'm sorry. I think of Lynne every single day and the girls still pray to her every single night. I love you and I miss you.

SS- Your first Christmas. I'm sorry. Please know I will never forget Max.

JR- I miss you sometimes and think of you every single day. I will never forget everything you have taught me, done for me, and the moments we shared. I hope you are well.

My list could go on and on but those are the people that flood my mind daily, that I can't let go of and don't want to.

To everyone else: Love, prayers, and strength to you.

Please know that you too are on my mind and in my heart.

Missing You

(Just the words)

I miss you Baby....

Whatta Weekend

I'm not sure where to begin this morning. What a whirlwind of a weekend!

3. Waking up this morning there must be a foot of snow out there! (I guess I need to shovel, by the way.) It is BEAUTIFUL! I love the snow! (Well. It is our first storm. Talk to me in February.)

2. LSU wins. Will Miles return to Michigan?!? He says no, but I'm not sure if I believe him. I say let that man, and those Boys, enjoy their victory - their championship - and in the end if Miles doesn't want the position FINE. Let's find us a true Victor who wants the position, that will treat our players and school with the respect they deserve. Maybe we already have him. Have we taken a good look at our Defensive Coordinator?

1. My poor parents. (Period) How could such beautiful, giving people, that continue to give give give every day that they live, be SO incredibly violated - again? I try not to hate. (I have a hard time with that.) But the "whys?" will not stop. It angers me so badly that another person thinks that it is okay to go into another's sanctuary and steal! To take a crowbar and demolish such perfect craftsmanship! ...and the wolf. He traveled such a long way to get here. A memory of the perfect vacation... I'm sorry Mom and Dad. I'm sorry that you continue to be challenged. Yes. We all know it could have been worse, but I still pray for your security in knowing that you are safe.

I love you.

Morning Prayer

Lance has pulled away to begin a new adventure in a new town. The girls and I must stay behind due to school and the house.

The ache in my chest is almost unbearable. It feels difficult to breathe. His coffee cup sat solo in the sink empty. I HAD to get rid of it! I put it in the dishwasher immediately.

Even the dog feels the good-bye; as she lays on her love seat, head down, sad.

I know this is not permanent. I know we will be joining him. We don't know if we will see him this week, this weekend, or next. That is the hard part.

And he doesn't have a place to stay Until December 1. The insecurity that this brings is intense. Money isn't exactly growing on trees for us, so staying in a hotel for 5 nights is a burden, but I know God will take care of us. In fact, since I have been typing the phone has rang offering me hours next week and the following at one of the schools. I love working with the children and this phone call is rare. Normally they call the day a sub is needed. So thank you again Lord.

It is a beautiful fall day. The temperature is warm enough to keep the roads dry for Lance and our faith strong.

My God, continue to guide and bless us and keep our hearts warm through the distance.

Therefore do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?"
"What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?"
For after all these things the Gentiles seek.
For your heavenly Father knows that you need these things.
Matthew 6:31-32

Dalai Lama

I am SO intrigued right now!

I need to know more! I'm like a child in a new home! I want to examine every closet, every room!

Are there books you can recommend? Something that is not "dry" for this westerner. (My sister-in-law recommended The Wisdom of Forgiveness.)

Is there a movie?

Please help! and Thank you!!!

A Parents Agony

My music is playing in the background, Ellie is running around so happy I can hear her heart beating. The morning is cold and brisk and beautiful.

Peanuts oral procedure went well and is finally over.

It was so hard on her and as a parent I don't think I can go through it again. She was such a trooper but looked over at me as if to say, "Mumma, please don't let them hurt me. Please! I don't want to be here! Please!!! Tell them to stop!!!"

I knelt next to her holding her hand, my other on her little shoulder, begging God to let it be over, forcing my own tears of pain not to drip. "Please God please! I will never make her go through this again! Never! No matter what that orthodontist tells us! Never will my poor little baby sit in a chair and go through this again!"

The tears. The pain. The mental ache. Never again.

I'm so sorry Peanut.

Our New Protection

I'm sorry. I couldn't help but blog this. I lmoa! Enjoy!

Not too long ago, I saw something at the gun shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 10th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety. Needless to say, this was way too cool.

To cut a long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the thing and pushed the button. I was so disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time I'd get a blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to my wife what that burn spot is on the face of her LG convection oven.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? YAH....

There I sat in my recliner, my cat looking on intently, the trusting little soul, while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Kitty for a fraction of a second, but thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat and, as most of you already know, hell hath no fury like a cat pissed off. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and my Blue Bulls supporter jersey, with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries thinking to myself "no flippin' way!" What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, the cat looking on with her head tilted to one side as if to say, "don't do it, you stupid man," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thingy couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION, CRAP ON A STICK!!!

I'm pretty sure THE BLUE BULLS TEAM ran in through the side door, picked me up, body slammed me on the carpet over and over and over again and then slammed the recliner over my head as a just for fun. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, smelling like pee, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and pins and needles in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it again, do it again you stupid ass!"

Please take this from the voice of experience - there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself!!!! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! Three second burst would be considered conservative. A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent and forlorn reading glasses were hanging miserably on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and judging by how my jaw hung listlessly, my bottom lip must have weighed 88 lbs. By the way, at this point my testicles, feeling like they withdrew nto my body somewhere around my rib cage, are still waiting for the all clear signal to emerge from the bomb shelter. I felt like I should offer a significant reward for their safe return. Even now, I experience shrinkage when I plug anything into the socket.

I think Robot and I found the girls' and my defense!

Reporting For Becc

Something to listen to as you read:



Wow! I can't believe it has been that long since Becc has blogged!

I'm sorry. She is out today so I will be blogging for her.

You see, she was laid off from her job on October 25th & her husband received a transfer to another city on October 27th (they just moved here in January). So, she is out job searching again and their home is up for sale by owner.

Call her selfish. Call her depressed. But I do not think she wants to do this again. It's like she is me, a robot, with a fake smile on her face trying to pretend that everything is okay. Don't get me wrong, this is a decision that they made together - they always do, but this time is different. For some reason she is not comfortable with it. Maybe it's the girls, maybe it's the anxiety of opening up their lives to others and letting them into their sanctuary. Maybe it's being alone again. I don't know.

But I want to scream for her,"Who is this for?!?" "Why are you doing this?" "She doesn't want to shovel snow and snow blow and take care of this house and the girls by herself, for God only knows how long!" "I don't want to have to protect us from that wacko across the street and the scary one next door! God knows Becc doesn't have the strength either!" "Who is going to protect them when a man comes to the door after dark or they have to go around the side of the garage to get in the truck at night?" "Who will hug her and tell her how amazing she is when she needs it the most, without her saying a word?"

I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what this is doing to her emotionally this time.

I can see that she misses him already.

As I read this, I want to slap myself. "Straightened up! My God! Get a grip on yourself! She can do it! She always does! She'll throw her shoulders back. Pick her head up and get to her damn interview, like she knows she has to!"

Pray for her folks.

The Mom Song

Welcome to another week!

The New Do