MY DEAREST LOVE

I love this man for many things,
especially his passions,
for they are those things which are most beautiful in life.
Love and books and friendship
and beauty and nature.
And I am glad he has taught me these things,
for I know my life is better for it.
I feel like the luckiest woman alive.

He is my best friend.
He has something inside of him,
something beautiful and strong.
He is filled with kindness.
He is the most peaceful man I know.
He is the closest thing to an angel I have ever met.

Words could never express the depth of the love we share.

ANOTHER GOOD-BYE

So much has happened since my last post.

My littlest girl chose to be a Bee that Friday night.

We returned home to tragic news. A family friend, the patriarch of the family's name we do not mention, passed away in a horrible motorcycle accident. Unfortunately, his wife and son were both riding behind him. She is terribly injured and their son has road rash, but they will both live.

He leaves behind SO much. So much it is amazing.

It is not the one that passes that I feel badly for, it is those left behind. The loss and the pain is so tremendous. It is never healed. It never goes away. It just gets buried. Buried until the wind blows and a piece of it gets exposed, until it is buried again. We pray that the storm doesn't hit, their lives are happy, and - that it is never completely revealed. That would not be safe for the survivors nor would it be fair to those surrounding them. Pray that the peace, once created, never be broken for them.

Let's think a minute about what the deceased are to look forward to:

1. complete peace forever
2. happiness
3. reunited with so many dear family members and friends that have passed before them

I think this is wonderful. This is perfect. This is what we all hope for!

I am comfortable with my mortality.

I hope you are as well.

God Speed, RS. I have never stopped loving you. I never will.

LITTLE BUG

What will my little bug choose to be tonight?

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

At first I just talked about it. Now I'm actually going for it.

Trying to find a second job.

I love what I do and I absolutely love the people I work for and with. I don't know that many people can say this. So I will try to find something that works around my current schedule.

I'm actually excited. Excited for the new opportunities. Excited for the new prospect of it all.

The money will help. The time off my hands will be nice. The meeting of new people and the learning of new things. I really look forward to all of this.

I know that it will become a juggling act when the girls return and school begins, but we'll work it out. We always have, plus we have Lance now. He has never let us down and I know he never will.

The running, the housework, the lawn, finding time to relax... It's all part of the game.

Bring it on!

My shoulders are back. My head is high! My parents would be proud!

I'm ready! Let's go!!!!

THIS IS MY BLOG SPOT

Just for clarification!

I think I have wonderful friends and I love my family.

I am not like many who are surrounded with my children all day and longing for a break. I am in our home for 10 hours per day plus - by myself - for the next month and a half.

I am not looking for sympathy. I simply want to share what I have with the people I love.

I have gotten in my car and driven to see my friends and family. Just like the phone. The road works both ways.

I use my blog - just like everyone else - to express my feelings. Every reader interprets the writings in different ways. Free thought.

It's amazing how many comments a blogger gets when a nerve is struck in a reader or two.

...HOME

I spent alot of time, as usual, out in the lawn working tonight. I love it out there. Everything smells so good, friendly people walking by, a neighbor will wave, another come to visit and say how incredible the lawn looks. That always makes me feel good! Lance and I have so much time and money invested in our landscaping.

It has been fun to do! We have planted arbs and rhodos, lillies, apple trees, birch, a magnolia tree... so much! Lance has placed so much mulch down - it is incredible! And with all of the fertilizer that I have put down and the weeding that K has done... it is all just amazing!

I guess I could say that it is sad, but not really. Maybe I'm a little envious. You see. The neighbors house down from us sold. A young couple moved out and another moved in. I watch all of the activity and hear all of the well wishers. "What a great house!" "Let me see this beautiful home of yours!" Young friends, elderly friends, so many people.

Lance and I have had just seven. My parents, my grandmother and her friend, A dear friend of Lance's from childhood and his bride and our beautiful, dear friend from across the street. That is all.

You see all of Lance's family and friends live at quite a distance and I suppose for others it may seem like a bit of a drive or they say that money is an issue. That is all well and fine, but I have to say when I here that they have gone here or there or done this or that and they know how often I am alone - it hurts. I try not to let it, but I want to share this beautiful gift that we have been given and that we work so hard for.

God has given us so much and we are extremely thankful for that.

I will continue to mow and weed and edge and do all of these little things that I enjoy, that make this "home" and I will find comfort in knowing that when Lance comes home he will be in awe of the beauty, just as I am, and we, together, will appreciate what few have come to enjoy.

FAREWELL MY FRIEND

I had a dear friend pass away this weekend.

We never spoke. It was a quiet friendship. A friendly smile, a respectful turn of the eye if we were out getting our newspapers at the same time in the morning, a gentle wave if one was in the car and the other in the lawn or when I saw him from inside if he was out.

I wonder if he knew how deeply I have come to care for him over the past 6 months.

He seemed to be such a gentle soul, like we shared a connection somehow. Maybe it was because he lived alone and I was so frequently alone. Maybe we were there for one another...I know now that we were.

Lance and I sat silently and sick at the dinner table as the events took place. We knew what had happened. Our neighbor was so calm and sure when she said, "Just pray that if it is his time, he is not afraid." I feel that he wasn't, that all is well with him.

Someone returned that night to turn his lights off and to close his blinds. (This is what Milo would have wanted. This is what he would have done.) "Thank you, whoever you were. Thank you for showing my old friend that kind of respect." I bow my head to you and thank you.

I will miss you my old friend. Go in peace.