TURMOIL

WELL, IT SEEMS MY LIFE IS ALWAYS IN A TURMOIL, OR AT LEAST HAS TURMOIL IN IT.

FIRST, I HAVE AN EX BOYFRIEND THAT WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE. HE HAS TURNED INTO A TRUE PSYCHO! AFTER INVESTIGATING, I DISCOVERED THAT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT HIS PHONE CALLS, UNTIL HE ACTUALLY CAUSES ME HARM.

SECOND, I'M SELLING MY RENTAL ON A LAND CONTRACT AND THAT SEEMS TO BE A MESS RIGHT NOW. I NEVER COUNT ON THE MONEY UNTIL I ACTUALLY HAVE IT IN MY HAND, BECAUSE THESE THINGS HAVE A TENDANCY TO FALL BY THE WAY SIDE. EVERYTIME MY REALTOR CALLS, I JUST SIT THERE AND HOLD MY BREATH IN HOPES THAT THE OTHER PARTY ISN'T CANCELLING.

THIRD, I THINK I'M PLAYING A WAITING GAME AT WORK. WELL, I GUESS I KNOW THAT I AM. WAIT TO SEE IF I'M FIRED. WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS. IT MAKES ME SO TIRED. I JUST WANT TO SLEEP.

OH! BUT WAIT! DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE GREAT THINGS THAT ARE HAPPENING IN MY LIFE?!?

I HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE HOME, A FRIEND THAT I COULD NOT LIVE WITHOUT, AND A MAN THAT I ABSOLUTLELY ADORE. YES. I COUNT MY BLESSINGS DAILY AND I AM VERY THANKFUL FOR THEM AND I FEEL GUILTY EVEN LOOKING AT THE NEGATIVE.

SO, THIS IS ME PULLING MY SHOULDERS BACK, RACING MY HEAD UP, PULLING MY HAIR BACK, AND TAKING A STEP FORWARD.

I AM TRULY SO TIRED... BUT THESE THINGS TOO SHALL PASS.

PUBERTY

OKAY. SO AT THE AGE OF 12 IS IT COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE TO BE NORMAL? TO THINK THAT YOUR MOM IS THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU!

LAST NIGHT WE WERE RIDING HOME FROM A BASKETBALL GAME THAT MY DAUGHTER'S TEAM HAD WON. WE WERE ALL IN A GREAT MOOD, LAUGHING AND JOKING! IT WAS FABULOUS! THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, MY 12 YEAR OLD DECIDES TO STOP TALKING, SMILING, OR ANYTHING THAT COULD BE ASSOCIATED WITH THE WORD "HAPPY". NOPE. NOTHING IS WRONG. SHE'S FINE. HER FACE AND BODY POSTURE LOOK LIKE THE WORLD HAS JUST CAME DOWN UPON HER, BUT NOOOOOOOO SHE'S FINE.

WE GET HOME AND STRAIGHT TO HER ROOM SHE GOES. NOPE. DINNER IS NOT AN OPTION. IT'S AFTER 8PM AND IT MAKES YOU FAT TO EAT AFTER THAT TIME YOU KNOW. UGH! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE! LANCE TO THE RESCUE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE SAID OR WHAT HE DID OR HOW HE DID IT, BUT SHE CAME OUT LAUGHING AND HAPPY AND READY TO EAT DINNER.

THANK YOU LANCE. THANK YOU GOD!

IS THIS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE A MATE AGAIN? TO HAVE A FAMILY AGAIN? IF IT IS, ALL I CAN SAY IS....

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

A RAY OF LIGHT

OKAY. SO IS IT COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND TRUE LOVE TWICE? TO FIND TWO PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHO YOU COMPLETELY CONNECT WITH, LOVE TO BE WITH, AND WHO JUST CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF YOU!? I THINK IT'S POSSIBLE!!!!

MY TRUE LOVE, THE MAN OF MY DREAMS, DISAPPEARED FROM MY WORLD. THE LONG BLACK TRAIN CAME AND TOOK HIM FROM US, JUST AS HE HAD THOUGHT IT ONE DAY WOULD. MY WORLD HAS BEEN RIPPED APART, TURNED UPSIDE DOWN! RELATIONSHIPS HAVE COME AND GONE, LIKE LESSONS AS A CHILD THAT MUST BE LEARNED OR TAUGHT.

BUT THEN....I MET LANCE.

HE'S LIKE A BEAUTIFUL SUNRISE TO START MY MORNING, A WARM, LIGHT BREEZE THROUGHOUT THE DAY, A MAGNIFICANT SUNSET IN THE EVENING, AND THE SOFTEST SECURITY BLANKET YOU COULD EVER FIND ALL NIGHT. HE MAKES ME FEEL SO HAPPY, SO COMFORTABLE, LIKE A LITTLE GIRL RUNNING FREE THROUGH A FIELD OF FLOWERS.

I ANXIOUSLY AWAIT THE NEXT PHONE CALL, OR TEXT MESSAGE, AND MOST OF ALL FOR THE NEXT TIME THAT WE MEET. THE LOOK IN HIS EYES WILL TAKE AWAY ALL DOUBT OR FEAR FROM MY MIND, HIS EMBRACE MELT AWAY ANY WORRY OR THOUGHT, EXCEPT FOR THOSE OF HIM AND THE LOVE THAT HE HOLDS FOR MY GIRLS AND I...

ALLELUIA

WHAT A WONDERFUL FEELING! I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE IT! WHEN I GOT WORD, I JUST WANTED TO DROP TO MY KNEES, RAISE MY HANDS TO HEAVEN, RAISE MY FACE TO GOD, AND THANK HIM! OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!! THE GIFT DID NOT HAVE TO BE RECEIVED BECAUSE IT WAS NEVER GIVEN! THIS IS FOR SURE A LIFE LESSON LEARNED, THAT I WILL MOST DEFINATELY NOT FORGET! I WAS TOLD THIS MORNING THAT LOVE AND HONESTY ARE THE TWO THINGS THAT HAVE TRULY PREVAILED THROUGH ALL OF THIS...YES. IT HAS AND ALWAYS WILL.

THE DEAD ROSE

OKAY. SO LET'S FACE IT. MY YEAR HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY NUTS! AND I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO INTO ALL OF THAT. LET'S DEAL WITH THE TOPIC AT HAND. LETS SAY SOMEONE GIVES YOU A GIFT, YOU REALLY DON'T WANT THE GIFT BUT THEY GIVE IT TO YOU ANYWAY. HOW DO YOU HANDLE THIS? I LOOK AT THE GIFT AS BEING A BLACK ROSE. AND WHAT IF YOU RECEIVE THE GIFT AND YOU THINK IT CAME FROM ONE FRIEND BUT YOU FIND OUT THAT IT CAME FROM AN OLD FRIEND THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO ASSOCIATE WITH ANYMORE. YOU SEE, GIVING THE GIFT BACK IS NOT AN OPTION, BUT LOOKING AT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IS NOW SOMETHING YOU WILL HAVE TO DO. I WANT TO HIDE THE GIFT. I WANT THE GIFT TO GO AWAY. I WANT TO CRY AT THE THOUGHT OF THE GIFT HAVING EVER BEEN ACCEPTED.

BUT THE SKY IS STILL BLUE AND THE FALL BREEZE IS STILL BEAUTIFUL AND WARM. MAYBE IT'LL BE OKAY TO JUST REMEMBER THE MEANING BEHIND THE GIFT AND LEARN FROM OUR PAST MISTAKES.