Loneliness
by Rebecca Drollinger
It is cold today
Indeed the rain is falling and I am alone.
Thoughts of life and love,
meaningless to anyone but myself.
I am alone.
They watch me, their eyes not knowing,
knowing nothing of what they see.
I am but another creature, alone.
They scurry on the surface, unaware,
unaware of the life below
when you are alone.
Loneliness, not a burden nor a sorrow,
but a time of solace, of deepness
never to be shared, never to be understood.
They can never reach the place where I am
And I know I will never reach the place where they are.
I know I don't want to reach that place.
True happiness is here, unmisted.
Unmisted by smiles or laughter,
unmisted by the joys of company.
To find true happiness,
to know if one is truly happy,
he must be happy alone.
"He must be happy alone"
Really?
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Sunday Morning
Good Morning/ Afternoon all!
I have had some time this morning to not only work on my playlist but also my blog this morning. I have to say that I'm pretty happy with the results.
Lance and the girls are all out of town for a short while and although this left me with a sense of complete loneliness this morning, I am proud to admit that, YES, I have taken some time to do the things that I enjoy and generally find to be a waste of time.
You will find my playlist now located in the right hand column. This is for you to enjoy. All you have to do is press the play arrow in the center of the blue box. I have set it up on shuffle, so each time you will have a new song to begin with. The little "pop-out" box will allow you to continue playing the music as you work around the house or even continue doing whatever you need to online. Just press "pop-out" and you're all set!
There is a variety of music styles posted, so maybe this is an opportunity to try something new, or listen to something old!
I'd really like you're input here. If there is something that you'd like me to add- just let me know!
Have a great one Folks and thank you for visiting!
I have had some time this morning to not only work on my playlist but also my blog this morning. I have to say that I'm pretty happy with the results.
Lance and the girls are all out of town for a short while and although this left me with a sense of complete loneliness this morning, I am proud to admit that, YES, I have taken some time to do the things that I enjoy and generally find to be a waste of time.
You will find my playlist now located in the right hand column. This is for you to enjoy. All you have to do is press the play arrow in the center of the blue box. I have set it up on shuffle, so each time you will have a new song to begin with. The little "pop-out" box will allow you to continue playing the music as you work around the house or even continue doing whatever you need to online. Just press "pop-out" and you're all set!
There is a variety of music styles posted, so maybe this is an opportunity to try something new, or listen to something old!
I'd really like you're input here. If there is something that you'd like me to add- just let me know!
Have a great one Folks and thank you for visiting!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Calming Realization
There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore...
And who always will..
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future..
Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore...
And who always will..
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future..
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Friday, December 05, 2008
Santa Baby
Because sometimes we all just wish we could be a little greedy, sexy, and in that little red Santa suit turning our man on...
Monday, December 01, 2008
A Prayer For You
To all of my female blogger friends:
Dear God:
The lady reading this is beautiful, classy and strong,
and I love her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Please promote
her and cause her to excel above her expectations. Help her shine in the darkest
places where it is impossible to love. Protect her at all times. Lift
her up when she needs you the most, and let her know when she walks with you, She
will always be safe.
Have a great day!
Dear God:
The lady reading this is beautiful, classy and strong,
and I love her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Please promote
her and cause her to excel above her expectations. Help her shine in the darkest
places where it is impossible to love. Protect her at all times. Lift
her up when she needs you the most, and let her know when she walks with you, She
will always be safe.
Have a great day!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Baby Steps
Alright all!
I can't post a picture of this, because it's a stocking stuffer, BUT...
I bought 2 items today. They would have been $2.48 each, but it was buy one get one free! Plus, I had a $1.00 off coupon!
I walked out paying $1.43!!!!
Yahoo!!!!
I can't post a picture of this, because it's a stocking stuffer, BUT...
I bought 2 items today. They would have been $2.48 each, but it was buy one get one free! Plus, I had a $1.00 off coupon!
I walked out paying $1.43!!!!
Yahoo!!!!
Monday, November 24, 2008
The Invisible Mom
This was sent to me today.
It came just as I needed it most.
The Invisible Mother......
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously, not.
No one can see that I'm on the phone, or cooking, or vacuuming the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Music Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Can you pick me up at 5:30?'
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Tracy had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic when Tracy turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .
I wasn't exactly sure why she' d given it to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, 4 life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
1. No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
2. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
3. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
4. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte . I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile about. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.
It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be o n.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my daughter to tell the friend she's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want her to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to her friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot see if we're doing it right.
And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does. We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.
It came just as I needed it most.
The Invisible Mother......
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously, not.
No one can see that I'm on the phone, or cooking, or vacuuming the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Music Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Can you pick me up at 5:30?'
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Tracy had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic when Tracy turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .
I wasn't exactly sure why she' d given it to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, 4 life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
1. No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
2. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
3. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
4. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte . I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile about. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.
It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be o n.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my daughter to tell the friend she's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want her to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to her friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot see if we're doing it right.
And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does. We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Interesting
What Happy People Don't Do
By RONI CARYN RABIN
Read in the NY Times
Happy people spend a lot of time socializing, going to church and reading newspapers - but they don't spend a lot of time watching television, a new study finds.
By RONI CARYN RABIN
Read in the NY Times
Happy people spend a lot of time socializing, going to church and reading newspapers - but they don't spend a lot of time watching television, a new study finds.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Coupons!!!
I have found a new coupon site that is amazing!!!
Give it a look!
http://www.ppgazette.com
Wow! What a savings!
Give it a look!
http://www.ppgazette.com
Wow! What a savings!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
More Than Me
I'm always tired, it seems.
On the go non-stop- but always tired.
And then I started thinking:
As I lay in bed, my little wheels are already turning:
Did Lance make the coffee?
No.
Should I make coffe.
Na.
Better get up.
Need to get the girls moving.
Go downstairs.
Go upstairs.
Get dressed.
Do my hair.
Do my make-up.
Are they up?
Is Peanut up here eating yet?
Do I hear Punky down there?
Make my lunch.
Eat my cereal.
Do I have my blood meter?
Punky- Did you take your pill?
Did you take your nasal inhaler?
Do you have lunch money? ID?
Is your bed made?
Peanut- Hair? Teeth? Shoes? Flute? Deoderant? Bed?
What time is it?
Dishwasher is running.
Washer is going.
Clothes are hung and the dryer is running.
Kiss Lance.
Out the door.
Feed the dog!
No.
When we get home.
Back out.
Close the garage door.
All in 45 minutes.
Sigh.
Off to work.
...
Yeah. We get a little tired.
And they wonder why we drink.
Just kidding.
On the go non-stop- but always tired.
And then I started thinking:
As I lay in bed, my little wheels are already turning:
Did Lance make the coffee?
No.
Should I make coffe.
Na.
Better get up.
Need to get the girls moving.
Go downstairs.
Go upstairs.
Get dressed.
Do my hair.
Do my make-up.
Are they up?
Is Peanut up here eating yet?
Do I hear Punky down there?
Make my lunch.
Eat my cereal.
Do I have my blood meter?
Punky- Did you take your pill?
Did you take your nasal inhaler?
Do you have lunch money? ID?
Is your bed made?
Peanut- Hair? Teeth? Shoes? Flute? Deoderant? Bed?
What time is it?
Dishwasher is running.
Washer is going.
Clothes are hung and the dryer is running.
Kiss Lance.
Out the door.
Feed the dog!
No.
When we get home.
Back out.
Close the garage door.
All in 45 minutes.
Sigh.
Off to work.
...
Yeah. We get a little tired.
And they wonder why we drink.
Just kidding.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Exhausted
There are some wounds that never heal
Pains that only fade
In the blink of an eye
The twitch of a muscle-
The wound re-opens
The pain returns
With the same fervor it originally held.
Doing the dishes in silence
Closing ones eyes in the shower
Brushing your teeth
Blankly looking in the mirror
The moment can occur at any time.
The return is knee buckling.
It's not asked for
It's not wanted
It's the kind of pain that you will hear-
"I don't know how you lived through that! I never could!"
But you do.
Bury it.
Conceal it.
Shake it off when the pain returns.
...if you can.
Pains that only fade
In the blink of an eye
The twitch of a muscle-
The wound re-opens
The pain returns
With the same fervor it originally held.
Doing the dishes in silence
Closing ones eyes in the shower
Brushing your teeth
Blankly looking in the mirror
The moment can occur at any time.
The return is knee buckling.
It's not asked for
It's not wanted
It's the kind of pain that you will hear-
"I don't know how you lived through that! I never could!"
But you do.
Bury it.
Conceal it.
Shake it off when the pain returns.
...if you can.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Historical Day
Today we will either have our first African-American President-
Or our first female Vice-President.
A historical day, for sure.
No matter who you choose-
Choose to vote!
Or our first female Vice-President.
A historical day, for sure.
No matter who you choose-
Choose to vote!
Monday, November 03, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Thought For The Day
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34.
After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Enjoy every moment-
Make these the times that you will look back and smile upon.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34.
After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Enjoy every moment-
Make these the times that you will look back and smile upon.
Friday, October 03, 2008
I'm Frustrated
Let me take a deep breath.
Inhale in.
Exhale out.
Slowly now.
Let's try it again.
Good.
My car is having a few minor maintenance issues.
The problem is that these "minor" little issues cost $1200 to fix. (according to the first bid that we received) Oh! $998 because "business is slow, they need work"... and did I mention - we just gave them $1200 two months ago to fix Lance's car?
Okay. Bit of a problem here. We don't have $1000!!!
I'm a little stressed.
So, when I call to ask for help, on what I should do, and I have to answer the phone for 10 million customers in 1 hour - while trying to do that, PLEASE do not roll your eyes at me on the other end, because I CAN see it over the phone!
And if you want me to do it - then great!
1. Throw my shoulders back!
2. Begin to ask the family that I hold dear, 45 hours per week, for help.
a. Who do you recommend?
b. What do you think of this bid?
c. Who do you think we should call?
3. Start the calls!
Yes! Found a great one. Sounds nice, intelligent, has traveled the globe, and YES he loves Switzerland! I have found our man!
I call my manager, and friend. He's excited for us! Drop the car on Sunday and he will bring it back into work (35 miles away) when it is ready! Awesome!
I call Lance (by this time it is 3pm mind you, because I have been "kicking ass and taking names" at work today). He says,"I'd feel more comfortable just taking it to Midas 5 miles away. (Real laid back)
OH MY LIVING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Oh. Okay." (shaking head side to side "like duh")
Inhale in.
Exhale out.
Slowly now.
Let's try it again.
Good.
My car is having a few minor maintenance issues.
The problem is that these "minor" little issues cost $1200 to fix. (according to the first bid that we received) Oh! $998 because "business is slow, they need work"... and did I mention - we just gave them $1200 two months ago to fix Lance's car?
Okay. Bit of a problem here. We don't have $1000!!!
I'm a little stressed.
So, when I call to ask for help, on what I should do, and I have to answer the phone for 10 million customers in 1 hour - while trying to do that, PLEASE do not roll your eyes at me on the other end, because I CAN see it over the phone!
And if you want me to do it - then great!
1. Throw my shoulders back!
2. Begin to ask the family that I hold dear, 45 hours per week, for help.
a. Who do you recommend?
b. What do you think of this bid?
c. Who do you think we should call?
3. Start the calls!
Yes! Found a great one. Sounds nice, intelligent, has traveled the globe, and YES he loves Switzerland! I have found our man!
I call my manager, and friend. He's excited for us! Drop the car on Sunday and he will bring it back into work (35 miles away) when it is ready! Awesome!
I call Lance (by this time it is 3pm mind you, because I have been "kicking ass and taking names" at work today). He says,"I'd feel more comfortable just taking it to Midas 5 miles away. (Real laid back)
OH MY LIVING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Oh. Okay." (shaking head side to side "like duh")
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Friday
I want to go home.
Home to a life of security.
Home to a life of being outdoors.
Wandering in the woods,
Picking flowers.
Two tracking around in my pickup truck.
Walking the beach at the bay.
Riding around on my snowmobile in the sun.
Taking a four-wheeler anywhere I want to explore.
Laying down on my bed,
Looking out the window,
Hearing football in the living room.
The smell of a roast in the oven.
I miss home.
Home to a life of security.
Home to a life of being outdoors.
Wandering in the woods,
Picking flowers.
Two tracking around in my pickup truck.
Walking the beach at the bay.
Riding around on my snowmobile in the sun.
Taking a four-wheeler anywhere I want to explore.
Laying down on my bed,
Looking out the window,
Hearing football in the living room.
The smell of a roast in the oven.
I miss home.
Worrisome
Well, it's been almost 1 month since I have blogged. Sad. Isn't it. It's not that I don't think about it. I am just hesitant to do it at work and by the time I get home, I don't even want to look at a computer!
_________________________________________
Here is what your day can feel like when you are thinking of the one you love but cannot reach that person:
Longing:
1. strong, persistent desire or craving, esp. for something unattainable or distant: filled with longing for home.
2. an instance of this: a sudden longing to see old friends.
Concern
–noun
1. worry, solicitude, or anxiety: to show concern for someone in trouble.
Worry
–noun
1. a worried condition or feeling; uneasiness or anxiety.
2. a cause of uneasiness or anxiety; trouble.
Anxiety
noun
1. A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties.
2. Psychiatry: A state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning.
Anger
–noun
1. a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.
2. Chiefly British Dialect. pain or smart, as of a sore.
3. Obsolete. grief; trouble.
...and when the moment finally happens:
Relief
–noun
1. alleviation, ease, or deliverance through the removal of pain, distress, oppression, etc.
2. a means or thing that relieves pain, distress, anxiety, etc.
...plus tears of joy and relief to alleviate the tension.
_________________________________________
Here is what your day can feel like when you are thinking of the one you love but cannot reach that person:
Longing:
1. strong, persistent desire or craving, esp. for something unattainable or distant: filled with longing for home.
2. an instance of this: a sudden longing to see old friends.
Concern
–noun
1. worry, solicitude, or anxiety: to show concern for someone in trouble.
Worry
–noun
1. a worried condition or feeling; uneasiness or anxiety.
2. a cause of uneasiness or anxiety; trouble.
Anxiety
noun
1. A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties.
2. Psychiatry: A state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning.
Anger
–noun
1. a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.
2. Chiefly British Dialect. pain or smart, as of a sore.
3. Obsolete. grief; trouble.
...and when the moment finally happens:
Relief
–noun
1. alleviation, ease, or deliverance through the removal of pain, distress, oppression, etc.
2. a means or thing that relieves pain, distress, anxiety, etc.
...plus tears of joy and relief to alleviate the tension.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Breathing Easier
Ahh... The repairs are complete, almost.
I continue to peak through the cracks, almost hoping for a clear view, but then I hurry and look away. Happy to be dancing around in my happy home again. The clear sunny sky above me, my earth walls around me.
I continue to peak through the cracks, almost hoping for a clear view, but then I hurry and look away. Happy to be dancing around in my happy home again. The clear sunny sky above me, my earth walls around me.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Damaged Fortress
I have created a fortress around myself over the past few years. I try not to look at the past. It hurts too much.
It's like I have been kicked in the stomach. A rock came crashing through one of my walls last night and I have been running around gathering clay and straw and water and everything else I can find to repair the damage. My problem is, as hard as I am working to fix it, I can still see out of the opening. I don't want to! It hurts to see outside! Please stop! I don't want to know what happened! I can't go there! I can't. (Head hanging low)
I will never understand. Never. The why's, the how-could-you's. Everything was taken from us.
My life has been rebuild. My life is wonderful. I have a man that loves me more than anything in this whole world!
I want to beg of him to help me repair this hole! (My stomach hurts. I cannot sleep at night. The pain is seeping in.) But I can't. I can't hurt him. (I can't talk about it.) I can't let anyone else hurt him either! I will do everything to protect him and our children!
So instead I will struggle. I will pray and I will get this hole repaired - by myself. Head up. Shoulders back. Biceps straining with the load. But it's working and I will!
My love is never ending. My strength transferred. He is our blessing from God and I shall forever be grateful. Please give me strength...
It's like I have been kicked in the stomach. A rock came crashing through one of my walls last night and I have been running around gathering clay and straw and water and everything else I can find to repair the damage. My problem is, as hard as I am working to fix it, I can still see out of the opening. I don't want to! It hurts to see outside! Please stop! I don't want to know what happened! I can't go there! I can't. (Head hanging low)
I will never understand. Never. The why's, the how-could-you's. Everything was taken from us.
My life has been rebuild. My life is wonderful. I have a man that loves me more than anything in this whole world!
I want to beg of him to help me repair this hole! (My stomach hurts. I cannot sleep at night. The pain is seeping in.) But I can't. I can't hurt him. (I can't talk about it.) I can't let anyone else hurt him either! I will do everything to protect him and our children!
So instead I will struggle. I will pray and I will get this hole repaired - by myself. Head up. Shoulders back. Biceps straining with the load. But it's working and I will!
My love is never ending. My strength transferred. He is our blessing from God and I shall forever be grateful. Please give me strength...
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Deep Breath
I struggle with why am I a "giver". I don't even know if that is what I would call myself. Maybe I just can't stand up for myself. I am constantly the main character that Julia Roberts played in "Runaway Bride". She couldn't tell Richard Gere's character how she liked her eggs because she had always thought she liked her eggs according to however her partners liked their eggs at the time. Was it scrambled? Sunny side up? With dill? She didn't know.
Why is it when I go into a store I will buy the ingredients that another likes instead of what I want? A shirt for another but not one for myself? I will walk out of an art gallery and dream of the beautiful $11 handcrafted coffee mug, that I would have loved to have had for myself and day dream about it, instead of just saying how much I love it and buy it.
Sometimes I would love to grab the snacks and soda that make me happy along with that People magazine that I enjoy so much, instead of making do with what is already available to me.
I just want to drift down the river with a picnic lunch with the man that I love instead I ensure him how much I love him and that I would love to do what is suggested instead.
I love my life and I love what God has placed before me and God please forgive me. I want to canoe and not golf, I want a Diet Coke not water. I want a radio under my kitchen cabinet to bring music into the room. I want my girls to be able to write on their bedroom walls.
I feel how slumped over I am with the weight that need not be, tears streaming from my eyes, longing to cry in my mom's lap.
Sit proud, take a deep breath, blow your nose, put a smile on your face, get out of the darkness, and go for a walk. Nobody will know the difference or that your pity party existed. This is who you are. This is who I am.
Why is it when I go into a store I will buy the ingredients that another likes instead of what I want? A shirt for another but not one for myself? I will walk out of an art gallery and dream of the beautiful $11 handcrafted coffee mug, that I would have loved to have had for myself and day dream about it, instead of just saying how much I love it and buy it.
Sometimes I would love to grab the snacks and soda that make me happy along with that People magazine that I enjoy so much, instead of making do with what is already available to me.
I just want to drift down the river with a picnic lunch with the man that I love instead I ensure him how much I love him and that I would love to do what is suggested instead.
I love my life and I love what God has placed before me and God please forgive me. I want to canoe and not golf, I want a Diet Coke not water. I want a radio under my kitchen cabinet to bring music into the room. I want my girls to be able to write on their bedroom walls.
I feel how slumped over I am with the weight that need not be, tears streaming from my eyes, longing to cry in my mom's lap.
Sit proud, take a deep breath, blow your nose, put a smile on your face, get out of the darkness, and go for a walk. Nobody will know the difference or that your pity party existed. This is who you are. This is who I am.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Good Weekend
As I opened the Weekend Edition of The Wall Street Journal last night, I was so happy to find so many of my most enriching topics to read about.
1 - Carolyn Kennedy, on the front page.
2 - Dalai Lama on page two. and last but never least
3 - Randy Pausch
In case you have not listened. PLEASE take the time:
Rest In Peace. We know you will.
1 - Carolyn Kennedy, on the front page.
2 - Dalai Lama on page two. and last but never least
3 - Randy Pausch
In case you have not listened. PLEASE take the time:
Rest In Peace. We know you will.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Du Ditty Du
I heard this song on my way to work this morning. It just made me smile and happy.
And the video reminds me of my girlfriends that I will be seeing tomorrow. Lord help our husbands!!!
Cheers!!!
And the video reminds me of my girlfriends that I will be seeing tomorrow. Lord help our husbands!!!
Cheers!!!
Friday, July 04, 2008
Summer's Breeze
It's been a busy summer thus far.
The lawn is a beautiful green with flowers in as many lawns as you pass. The Blue Angels have been flying overhead with a roar of a zillion. Vineyards have been tasted. Deep sultry Madeleine has been heard accompanied by Dr. John. The stores of downtown have been visited, on more than one occasion. There will be parades and fireworks abound today.
These are the simple yet pleasure filled moments of life that I have learned to take in and enjoy.
The girls have been gone since mid-June with just a short return recently. They seem happy this year. Happy while they are away and happy to return. They are learning to enjoy their moments and their surroundings and find solace at each home. Beautiful they are. Simply beautiful. My heart overflows.
New England soon and the sweet smell of the mountain and the water.
Aah...
The joys of breathing-
Of life.
The lawn is a beautiful green with flowers in as many lawns as you pass. The Blue Angels have been flying overhead with a roar of a zillion. Vineyards have been tasted. Deep sultry Madeleine has been heard accompanied by Dr. John. The stores of downtown have been visited, on more than one occasion. There will be parades and fireworks abound today.
These are the simple yet pleasure filled moments of life that I have learned to take in and enjoy.
The girls have been gone since mid-June with just a short return recently. They seem happy this year. Happy while they are away and happy to return. They are learning to enjoy their moments and their surroundings and find solace at each home. Beautiful they are. Simply beautiful. My heart overflows.
New England soon and the sweet smell of the mountain and the water.
Aah...
The joys of breathing-
Of life.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Le Amare' Hasta Finales Del Tiempo
"When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen: there will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly." -Frank Outlaw
and we flew.
I have many people to thank for helping me to take flight, but none more greater than Lance.
He has taught me that life is like a flower floating on the water, there is beauty in every day.
He gives unconditionally, whole-heartily. Never asking, expecting, or taking.
Thank you, God, for this man and everything he stands for.
One year has passed yet it seems our souls have been connected within the universe since before our time.
Happy Anniversary Baby
and we flew.
I have many people to thank for helping me to take flight, but none more greater than Lance.
He has taught me that life is like a flower floating on the water, there is beauty in every day.
He gives unconditionally, whole-heartily. Never asking, expecting, or taking.
Thank you, God, for this man and everything he stands for.
One year has passed yet it seems our souls have been connected within the universe since before our time.
Happy Anniversary Baby
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Checking In
It's been awhile since I've been here. I'm not even sure that I want to be here now, but I do stop by to visit and check up on my ol' friends.
I hope you are all well.
When the words return and time prevails, so shall I.
I hope you are all well.
When the words return and time prevails, so shall I.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
New Found Spirit
Hello All!
I was told the other day that I have a few followers from my past.
Hello! We think of you often! Thank you for finding me! ...and to a little missy we know in Bulldawg country, "GET ON THAT PUMP!!! It's incredibly awesome! I can't begin to tell you the benefits! I know. I know. I know! but think about it. Okay? Okay."
Well, we've had a lot going on.
We moved to our new city at the end of February. We love it here! We love our house. We love our schools. Lance loves his job here and I found a great job within 2 weeks time! I work with amazing people! I can't believe that so many kind decent people are available to me every day. God truly has blessed each of us.
The girls are with their other half for Spring break. I talk to them &/or chat online with them every day. They seem happy and well and of course full of spirit.
I've missed blogging. I'm happy to be here. I'll visit as often as I can.
God Bless and know we think of all of you.
Becc
I was told the other day that I have a few followers from my past.
Hello! We think of you often! Thank you for finding me! ...and to a little missy we know in Bulldawg country, "GET ON THAT PUMP!!! It's incredibly awesome! I can't begin to tell you the benefits! I know. I know. I know! but think about it. Okay? Okay."
Well, we've had a lot going on.
We moved to our new city at the end of February. We love it here! We love our house. We love our schools. Lance loves his job here and I found a great job within 2 weeks time! I work with amazing people! I can't believe that so many kind decent people are available to me every day. God truly has blessed each of us.
The girls are with their other half for Spring break. I talk to them &/or chat online with them every day. They seem happy and well and of course full of spirit.
I've missed blogging. I'm happy to be here. I'll visit as often as I can.
God Bless and know we think of all of you.
Becc
Sunday, February 17, 2008
White Hair Panick
OH MY LIVING LORD!!!!!
As all of you may or may not know, I let go of the blonde and went dark. Right?
Wrong!!!!!!!
I am seeing 1-2 inches of growth that are white!!!!
Bull honky Baby!!!
Wrinkles. My age. My little flubber belly. DO NOT bother me.
This does!!!!!
As all of you may or may not know, I let go of the blonde and went dark. Right?
Wrong!!!!!!!
I am seeing 1-2 inches of growth that are white!!!!
Bull honky Baby!!!
Wrinkles. My age. My little flubber belly. DO NOT bother me.
This does!!!!!
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Adventure
Hello America!
Just kidding! I've been away so long. I feel like I've returned from a long trip.
We have entered The Tiger into our Mac and I feel like a new blogger! I love it!!
It has been busy here! I now work two jobs that I absolutely love, the girls are doing great, we sold our house, and we're moving to a new city to be a family again! Woo Hoo!!
I stand by my moto that Life Is Great! Full of stumbles but GREAT!
Hope all is well with all of you!
Becc
Just kidding! I've been away so long. I feel like I've returned from a long trip.
We have entered The Tiger into our Mac and I feel like a new blogger! I love it!!
It has been busy here! I now work two jobs that I absolutely love, the girls are doing great, we sold our house, and we're moving to a new city to be a family again! Woo Hoo!!
I stand by my moto that Life Is Great! Full of stumbles but GREAT!
Hope all is well with all of you!
Becc
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Keeping The Faith
Sundays's Quote, before I head off to work:
"True love doesn't just fill your heart, it overflows into your whole body and soul."
"True love doesn't just fill your heart, it overflows into your whole body and soul."
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Volcanic Eruption
The calm. The calm before the storm.
The stream and molten rock slowly begin to rise.
A small eruption occurs.
The smoldering gases cannot withstand the pressure any longer and the volcano erupts with a violent force.
God grant me the strength I must have and protect my children from the wrath that is bound to bestow them.
I have held them for as long as I can, to make them feel safe. Now I must shield them with my entire being!
The stream and molten rock slowly begin to rise.
A small eruption occurs.
The smoldering gases cannot withstand the pressure any longer and the volcano erupts with a violent force.
God grant me the strength I must have and protect my children from the wrath that is bound to bestow them.
I have held them for as long as I can, to make them feel safe. Now I must shield them with my entire being!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Looking Toward Our Future
Our goal for 2008 is to become Debt Free (other than our primary home).
I am SO looking forward to this day, when Lance and I can scream "We are debt free!!!!"
What an amazing feeling that will be!
We are taking Baby Steps and we are on our first, but this is so soothing. To know we are on our way... Wow!
Pray for us and wish us luck!
I am SO looking forward to this day, when Lance and I can scream "We are debt free!!!!"
What an amazing feeling that will be!
We are taking Baby Steps and we are on our first, but this is so soothing. To know we are on our way... Wow!
Pray for us and wish us luck!
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Faith
"ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN?"
That was THE question a stranger walked up and asked me at work last night.
I'm proud to say that I could feel my shoulders go back and my response:
"YES I AM."
"I thought so. I could tell."
...and he casually walked away.
That was THE question a stranger walked up and asked me at work last night.
I'm proud to say that I could feel my shoulders go back and my response:
"YES I AM."
"I thought so. I could tell."
...and he casually walked away.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Sunday Morning - Kindness
I have learned that some people just ARE NOT good. Most of these individuals seem to enjoy misery and want you to drowned in it with them.
There are others that radiate goodness. Just by their smile and the light in their eyes. These are the people that make me feel warm and comfortable.
When I must stand and listen ALL DAY LONG to the negativity of the "not so good people" as I work, it makes me feel nerved up, anxious, like I just want to run! Run outside into the sun and fresh air! I know this is what causes my tension, my need for release, my need to be out of that environment.
***Oh My Goodness!!!!****
While I was writing this on paper (Yes. This is one thing I did at work yesterday morning because we were SOOOO busy) a customer went out, down to McDonald's, bought me a hot cappuccino, and brought it back to me. Hot! OMG! Just because I seemed like a "nice" person!
Random acts of kindness girls! Random acts of kindness!
I discovered in my writing that this negative person was pulling me down to her level. As much as I thought it wasn't happening... It was!
Thank you Sir. Thank you for making me stop in my tracks and see kindness, as I watch the negative walk away.
Hey! Maybe this red hair IS working for me! (wink)
Friday, January 04, 2008
Footloose And Fancy-free
Hey Girls!
I'm back! and I'm feeling fine! (There's two more for ya Liv!)
I love it when I have a day filled with accomplishment, but especially when it is unplanned!
When I open up my checking account online to discover there is money in there!
I pay our bills and still have a little money left and know more is coming. Not a lot, but enough.
When I get court paperwork ready, praying God will help us, and that family that also must GO. No pay. No stay. Sorry. Don't get me wrong now. I wish I could afford to offer her a free place to stay, but unfortunately my checkbook doesn't reflect that.
I love it when I read your blogs and you just make me FEEL GOOD! OH, I feel so good! Uh! (I think that was a cheer from high school. :-)
Oh! And I forgot to mention that I am now a dark redhead! No. I am not joking. This blonde is now deep dark brownish red!
Do I like it? hmmmm...... I'll let ya know.
Okay Gals! Keep writing, keep reading, please comment, and as Jenn and Tabba have both reflected: Let's make this world a better place!
Smiles...
I'm back! and I'm feeling fine! (There's two more for ya Liv!)
I love it when I have a day filled with accomplishment, but especially when it is unplanned!
When I open up my checking account online to discover there is money in there!
I pay our bills and still have a little money left and know more is coming. Not a lot, but enough.
When I get court paperwork ready, praying God will help us, and that family that also must GO. No pay. No stay. Sorry. Don't get me wrong now. I wish I could afford to offer her a free place to stay, but unfortunately my checkbook doesn't reflect that.
I love it when I read your blogs and you just make me FEEL GOOD! OH, I feel so good! Uh! (I think that was a cheer from high school. :-)
Oh! And I forgot to mention that I am now a dark redhead! No. I am not joking. This blonde is now deep dark brownish red!
Do I like it? hmmmm...... I'll let ya know.
Okay Gals! Keep writing, keep reading, please comment, and as Jenn and Tabba have both reflected: Let's make this world a better place!
Smiles...
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