Sunday, March 11, 2007

A MOTHER'S LONGING

IT'S SUNNY AND WARM TODAY. THE SKY IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL BLUE. I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT THE WHETHER WAS LIKE ON THIS DAY 15 YEARS AGO. SOMEHOW I REMEMBER IT SNOWY, BUT MAYBE SUNNY THAT AFTERNOON. TIME HAS SINCE CLOUDED SOME OF MY MEMORY.

THE MEMORY THAT WILL BE FOREVER CLEAR IS THE BIRTH OF MY SON. SO INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL! I CRIED. I JUST LOOKED AT HIM AND CRIED. HE WAS EVERYTHING A BABY BOY SHOULD BE. LOOKING AT HIM, THERE WAS NO QUESTION AS TO HIS GENDER. HE WAS A HANDSOME LITTLE MAN THROUGH AND THROUGH.

HE CRIED. THE ONLY TIME HE SEEMED IN HIS GLORY IS WHEN HIS MOMMY HELD HIM; JUST LIKE THAT IS WHAT HE HAD WAITED SO LONG FOR. FOR ME TO LOOK AT HIM AND FOR HIM TO LOOK BACK UP AT ME.

OUR TIME TOGETHER WAS SHORT LIVED. HE WAS SO STRONG AND SO INNOCENT. SO TRUSTING.

WHY WAS HE BROUGHT HERE AND WHY WAS HE TAKEN? THIS I WILL NEVER KNOW. WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET HIM. THE GIRLS AND I PRAY TO HIM, STILL, EVERY NIGHT.

HE IS MY SON. MY FOREVER LOST BOY. THE BOY I LONG TO HOLD AND I PRAY, ONE DAY THAT I WILL BE ALLOWED THE JOY OF DOING SO. IN THE MEANTIME, T, WAIT FOR MOMMY. WAIT FOR ME.

1 comment:

Ms. Skywalker said...

I'm praying for you, too. And I'm sure that one day there will be the reunion that you're hoping for.